Tag Archives: Ministry

A Pastor’s Dirty Little Secret

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Have you ever wondered what it is like being a pastor of a church? have you ever imagined what it is like to be the leader in charge? Have you ever thought how wonderful it would be to serve the Lord in vocational service? Philip Wagner uses stats from several reputable sources to help us understand some of unique situations pastors face in ministry.

Wagner writes:

Peter Drucker, the late leadership guru, said that the four hardest jobs in America (and not necessarily in order, he added) are:

  • The President of the United States
  • A university president
  • A CEO of a hospital and
  • A pastor

Is that true? Pastors love God and love people. They get to pray for people, lead people to a faith in Jesus Christ, and teach the Word about God.

That’s the dream job. You can read the Bible all day, pray, play a little golf, and preach. I want to do that!

Here is the secret. Being a pastor is hard work. It’s not for wimps.

This is the reality—the job of a pastor can be 24/7 and carry unique challenges.

Some pastors wear themselves out trying to help people. Some wound their family because they are so involved in ministry. Others flourish in their ministry and personal life.

Approximately 85% of churches in America have less than 200 people. Sixty percent of churches are under 100 people. The average size congregation in the U.S. is 89 people, according to The Barna Group. Staffs are small, and needs are great. In many situations, the pastor needs to be a Bible teacher, accountant, strategist, visionary, computer tech, counselor, public speaker, worship director, prayer warrior, mentor, leadership trainer, and fundraiser.

Who can be all of that?

  • 90% of pastors said the ministry was completely different than what they
    thought it would be like before they entered the ministry.
  • 70% say they have a lower self-image now than when they first started.

Personally, I love being a pastor. I have a great staff. We have great people in our church; I am content whether going through good times or difficult seasons. Of course, it’s a lot easier to be “content” when things are good. I have great friends who are pastors. My marriage is strong. I am a better man because of my time in ministry.

Some of the unique problems that pastors’ face are:

1. Criticism

Pastors can be criticized by a lot of people for a multitude of things.

“Music is too loud. Worship is not long enough. It’s too long.”
“Sermon is not deep enough. It’s too long.”
“Pastor thinks he’s too important. It took me 3 weeks to get an appointment.”
“You talk too much about money.”

“…can I talk to you for a minute, Pastor?” This simple question can cause a pastor to think: “Oy vey. Now what?”

We pastors need to find a way to not take criticism so personally and learn from truths that could be hidden in the criticism.

2. Rejection

Members leave, leaders leave, and pastors’ friends leave. The reality is—people leave.

The smaller the church, the more obvious it is when people leave. Some leave for reasonable decisions; many leave ‘ungracefully.’ They leave the big churches, too—by the thousands.

People leave TD Jakes’ church, and they leave Andy Stanley’s church.

When our church had about 150 people and some would leave, it was so disappointing. I tried to console myself by thinking, “They may be leaving by the dozens here at Oasis, but thousands have left Jack Hayford’s church, and he’s a great pastor.”…That only helped for a minute.

“I’m leaving.”

“We want something deeper.”

“My needs aren’t getting met.”

These comments can feel like a personal rejection.

Every pastor has heard, “I’m not getting fed here.” Bill Hybels has heard it. Wayne Cordero, Dino Rizzo, Ed Young, Craig Groeschel, Steven Furtick, and Matthew Barnett have heard it.

Really? Not getting fed? In those churches? How is that possible?

One of the most difficult conditions to achieve is to have a “tough skin and a soft heart.” Love people, hold them lightly, and don’t take it personally.

“…uhhh, OK. Lord, help us.”

3. Betrayal

Trusting church members with personal burdens can backfire. They may end up telling the pastor’s personal issues to others. Staff leaders can take church members away. The pastor trusts a person with the platform or title, and that person uses the influence given to them to take people away. The Judas kiss.

Church staff causing problems is a betrayal. Pastors rightfully think, “I’m paying you to solve problems. I can get new problems for free. I don’t need to pay someone a salary to create them.”

  • 40% report a conflict with a church member at least once a month.
  • 85% of pastors said their greatest problem is they are tired of dealing with problem people, such as disgruntled elders, deacons, worship leaders, worship teams, board members, and associate pastors.
  • The #1 reason pastors leave the ministry is that church people are not willing to go the same direction and goal of the pastor. Pastors believe God wants them to go in one direction, but the people are not willing to follow or change.
  • 40% of pastors say they have considered leaving their pastorates in the last three months.

We pastors have to find a way, with God’s grace, to love people as if we have never been hurt before.

4. Loneliness

Who’s my friend? Who can I trust? If I tell another pastor my problems, will he criticize me, tell others, or just treat me differently?

  • 70% do not have someone they consider a close friend.

Are my friends really my friends or a church member who is a temporary friend who may leave any day now?

Healthy friendships are crucial to a fulfilling life, especially to the well-being of a pastor. Put special effort in this area.

5. Weariness

  • 50% of the ministers starting out will not last 5 years.
  • 70% felt God called them to pastoral ministry before their ministry began, but after three years of ministry, only 50% still felt called.

Keeping personally refreshed is an art and a science…and extremely important.

When fatigue comes in, you not only look ½ empty, but also dirty, contaminated, and undrinkable.

6. Frustrations & Disappointments

Disappointments come in many ways.

Because of smaller congregations, the average compensation package for pastors is between $35,000 – $40,000. There are many things pastors in this salary range are not able to do for their family that other people around them can do.

There are many areas of ministry that judging “success” is difficult. Pastors can be hard on themselves. We work in an area that good work and good effort does not always guarantee success.

Many pastors work hard but are missing some kind of “X-factor.” They are good people, sincere believers, love God, know the Word, have great content in their sermons, but somehow it’s not clicking. It’s frustrating.

It’s like a worship leader who loves Jesus and has a great singing voice but somehow cannot lead people in an effective worship experience.

Some days, leaders feel like they can’t seem to do anything right. The ministry finally gets momentum, and then a leader in the church falls. Things are going well, and then a couple of your biggest givers leave.

The church needs money, but the pastor doesn’t want to put too much focus on money. It’s not about the money—but it becomes about the money.

All of this can be overwhelming.

  • 4,000 new churches begin each year and 7,000 churches close.
  • Over 1,700 pastors left the ministry every month last year.
  • Over 3,500 people a day left the church last year.
  • 50% of pastors feel so discouraged that they would leave the ministry if
    they could, but have no other way of making a living.
  • 45.5 % of pastors say that they’ve experienced depression or burnout to the extent that they needed to take a leave of absence from ministry.

This is not the case for all pastors. In fact, many that I know have managed to handle these issues well.

How Christians and church members can help.

  • Pray for your pastor
    Pray for guidance, protection, healthy friends, their marriage, and      family.
    Pray for inspiration, anointing, the leadership team, unity, and clarity.
  • Protect your pastor
    As best as you can, don’t allow or participate in gossip and criticism.
    How can you serve and problem solve to prevent overload?
  • Encourage your pastor
    Thank him for his or her work and ministry. Thank them for their      sacrifice.
    Tell them a specific time in which you or someone you know experienced a life change in their church.
    Honor them to others. Let your pastors know you are praying for them.

According to the Barna report—the profession of “Pastor” is near the bottom of a survey of the most-respected professions, just above “car salesman.”

To Pastors

Don’t give up, pastor!

Persistence is powerful.

Keep on. Really! Your work, your labor of love, and your sacrifice matters.

I realize the last thing a pastor needs is another sermon. But these verses have helped me. Hold on to God’s Word with your life.

So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you! Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised. Hebrews 10:35-36 NLT

So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time, we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. Gal. 6:9 NLT

Be careful of the comparison trap.

Looking at other ministries can be inspiring. Comparing yourself to other churches can be destructive and discouraging.

Make new pastor friends. Expose yourself to new influences, new leaders, churches, or ministries that are doing some things differently.

Discover to some fresh views and ideas. Sometimes, it just takes one or two new ideas that can change momentum around.

Pastors that are struggling or are no longer in ministry may have unresolved hurts. I encourage you to find healing. Seek counseling; find a local Celebrate Recovery group; equip yourself with resources on healing (some examples are Safe People or Boundaries) and share your secrets with safe people. Remember you’re only as sick as your secrets. Pastors—I love you!

 *The Fuller Institute, George Barna, and Pastoral Care Inc. provide the statistics I have used in this blog.

Source: Churchleaders.com

Is the Savior Calling?

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I can still remember struggling for several months with the inner turmoil that God was calling me to something more. I was actively serving in the church, visiting those who were looking for a church, and sharing the good news of Jesus with others as I went about my day. Yet I still had this feeling of discontent. I remember saying, “There has to be more to Christianity than this. I just feel like I am missing something.”

Eventually I sat down with my pastor and shared with him what I was feeling. He gave me the opportunity to teach at our church’s Wednesday night Bible study. Preaching that one simple study changed my life. Within the next five years I went from being a manager of a shoe store, to a missionary in Brazil, to a student at a Bible college, a youth minister, and then senior pastor of a church.

Being able to slowly work through the holy discontent of being called to more in my Christian walk is a comfort and memory I will cherish for the rest of my days. I never thought I would be able to pastor a church or write sermons that would help others grow in their spiritual journey into Christ-likeness. In truth, I was right! It has been over twenty-two years since I stood in the pulpit to preach for the first time, and were it not for Christ equipping me to carry out all that He called me to do I would never have been able to accomplish anything for His kingdom. “I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing” (John 15.5).

What is Jesus calling you toward today? Is it to be more disciplined in your daily walk? Does He want you to be a more vocal witness? Is He opening doors for you to be a leader to others in your local church? Is He calling you to spend some time on a mission trip? Or, is He calling you to Christian ministry? If you are experiencing a holy discontent with your current Christian walk or calling take time to visit with your pastor. Share with him about your feelings. You never know where one conversation will lead you. The conversation I had led me to writing this blog post twenty-two years later!

Thank you Jesus!

How To Measure a Pastor

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How do you measure the success of a pastor? Should a pastor be measured by buildings, budgets, or backsides? Should his pedigree or accomplishments be the yardstick for his worth? How do you determine if a pastor is successful?

You can find the answer to these questions in Paul Tripp’s post “The Recipe for a Successful Pastor.” Pastors may accomplish great measurable feats; however, if they do not proceed from a heart of brokenness, love, and the pursuit of holiness then they are nothing more than worldly accomplishments.

Tripp writes:

I am convinced that many of the problems in pastoral culture result from an unbiblical definition of the essential ingredients of ministry success. Sure, most candidate profiles expect a “vibrant walk with the Lord,” but these words are often weakened by a process that asks few questions in this area and makes grand assumptions. We’re really interested in knowledge (right theology), skill (good preacher), ministry philosophy (will build the church), and experience (isn’t cutting his pastoral teeth in this new place of ministry). I have heard church leaders, in moments of pastoral crisis, say many times, “We didn’t know the man we hired.”

What does knowing the man entail? It means knowing the true condition of his heart—as far as such is possible. What does he really love, and what does he despise? What are his hopes, dreams, and fears? What are the deep desires that fuel and shape the way he does ministry? What anxieties have the potential to derail or paralyze him? How accurate is his view of himself? How open is he to confrontation, critique, and encouragement? How committed is he to his own sanctification?

How open is he about his own temptations, weaknesses, and failures? How ready is he to listen to and defer to the wisdom of others? Is pastoral ministry a community project to him? Does he have a tender, nurturing heart? Is he warm and hospitable, a shepherd and champion to those who are suffering? What character qualities would his wife and children use to describe him? Does he sit under his own preaching? Is his heart broken and his conscience regularly grieved as he looks at himself in the mirror of the Word? How robust, consistent, joyful, and vibrant is his devotional life?

Does his ministry to others flow out of the vibrancy of his devotional communion with the Lord? Does he hold himself to high standards, or does he settle for mediocrity? Is he sensitive to the experience and needs of those who minister alongside him? Does he embody the love and grace of the Redeemer? Does he overlook minor offenses? Is he ready and willing to forgive? Is he critical and judgmental? How does the public pastor differ from the private husband and dad? Does he take care of his physical self? Does he numb himself with too much social media or television? How would he fill in this blank: “If only I had ________”? How successful has he been in pastoring the congregation that is his family?

True Condition of the Pastor’s Heart

A pastor’s ministry is never just shaped by his experience, knowledge, and skill. It is also always shaped by the true condition of his heart. In fact, if his heart is not in the right place, knowledge and skill can make him dangerous.

Pastors often struggle to find living, humble, needy, celebratory, worshipful, meditative communion with Christ. It is as if Jesus has left the building. There is all kinds of ministry knowledge and skill, but it seems divorced from a living communion with a living and ever-present Christ. All this activity, knowledge, and skill seems to be fueled by something else. Ministry becomes shockingly impersonal. Then it’s about theological content, exegetical rightness, ecclesiastical commitments, and institutional advancement. It’s about preparing for the next sermon, getting the next meeting agenda straight, and filling the requisite leadership openings. It’s about budgets, strategic plans, and ministry partnerships.

None of these things is wrong in itself. Many of them are essential. But they must never be ends in themselves. They must never be the engine that propels the vehicle. They must all express something deeper in the pastor’s heart.

The pastor must be enthralled by, in awe of, and in love with his Redeemer so that everything he thinks, desires, chooses, decides, says, and does is propelled by love for Christ and the security of rest in the love of Christ. He must be regularly exposed by, humbled by, assured by, and given rest by the grace of his Redeemer. His heart needs to be tenderized day after day by his communion with Christ so that he becomes a loving, patient, forgiving, encouraging, and giving servant-leader. His meditation on Christ, his presence, his promises, and his provisions must not be overwhelmed by his meditation on how to make his ministry work.

Protection Against All Other Loves

Only love for Christ can defend the heart of the pastor against all other loves that have the potential to kidnap his ministry. Only worship of Christ has the power to protect him from all the seductive idols of ministry that will whisper in his ear. Only the glory of the risen Christ will guard him against the self-glory that tempts all and destroys the ministry of so many.

Only Christ can turn an arrogant, “bring on the world” seminary graduate into a patient, humble giver of grace. Only deep gratitude for a suffering Savior can make a man willing to suffer in ministry. Only in brokenness before your own sin can you give grace to fellow rebels among whom God has called you to minister. Only when your identity is firmly rooted in Christ will you find freedom from seeking to get your identity out of your ministry.

We must be careful how we define ministry readiness and spiritual maturity. There is a danger in thinking that the well-educated and well-trained seminary graduate is ministry ready or to mistake ministry knowledge, busyness, and skill with personal spiritual maturity. Maturity is a vertical thing that will have a wide variety of horizontal expressions. Maturity is about relationship to God that results in wise and humble living. Maturity of love for Christ expresses itself in love for other.

Thankfulness for the grace of Christ expresses itself in grace to others. Gratitude for the patience and forgiveness of Christ enables you to be patient and forgiving of others. Your daily experience of the rescue of the gospel gives you a passion for people experiencing the same rescue. This is the soil in which true ministry success grows.

Give Thanks With a Grateful Heart

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“Count your blessings, name them one by one; Count your blessings, see what God has done…” Every Thanksgiving I think about this wonderful old hymn and try to think specifically about the blessings from God.  With that in mind let me share a few of the blessings that have meant the most to me this year.

First off, I am so thankful for my church family.  On more than one occasion this year I have watched as they demonstrated the love of Christ to others in need. They have taken meals to someone who was recovering from surgery or to a family who had just lost a loved one. They have helped some of the senior adults by mowing their lawns, cutting wood, and repairing things around the house.  We’ve even had a couple of members give a car to someone in need.

They also reached out to our community to make a difference. For example, they adopted an elementary school here in town and provided school supplies for all the teachers; cooked hot dogs for the parents, students, and teachers during the “Meet the Teacher” night; as well as giving each child a back-pack.  When the movie “Courageous” came out, they raised money to rent out two theaters and gave away over 400 tickets so people could enjoy the movie for free.

They also focused on people outside our community. They collected items for newborns and donated them to the Hope Pregnancy Center.  They blessed the Owasso Home for Children with money to buy back-to-school clothing. They sent money to Samaritan’s Purse to provide goats, chickens, and even dig a well in a poor community overseas.

There are way too many things this loving family has done this year for me to mention them all; however, let me tell about my favorite. Each year, we have a church Thanksgiving meal the Sunday before Thanksgiving.  We invite the community to come and celebrate the holiday with us.  Afterward, we give needy families a basket with everything they will need for a decent Thanksgiving meal.  It is always heart warming to see our church family sitting with and getting to know the many visitors we have in attendance.  It is equally special to see the gratitude on the faces of those who bless us by receiving a basket.

Living Oaks Baptist Church is filled with kind people who just want to make a difference.  They want people to experience first-hand the love of Christ Jesus.  They want them to know that once you enter into a relationship with Him your life will never be the same. They love because Jesus first loved them!

In just a few weeks I will be celebrating seven years as the pastor of this wonderful church.  It is privilege to be a part of such a wonderful family.  I can not begin to tell you of all the ways they have blessed me.  They have been there during terrible losses, great pain and suffering, discouragement, as well as the times of celebration.  They have shown over and over again that they are Jesus’ disciples by the way they love one another and by the way they love me!

So, the first blessing for which I am thankful that I want to share with you is the people who make up Living Oaks Baptist Church.  Thank you LOBC!  I love you and I am eternally grateful that you allow me to be your pastor, brother in Christ, and your friend!