Susie Hawkins’ post, “The Safeguard,” is a humorous reminder of our need for honest, healthy, and habitual communication with our spouse.
I had noticed her looking at him, laughing a little too loud, practically swooning over the brilliance of his sermons and cleverness of his insights. But she was my good friend, and I didn’t consider it flirting, especially since my husband paid no attention to her whatsoever. She was just vivacious and outgoing.
My Bible study leader in our church (I’ll call her Ruth), was a trusted mentor and friend to me. She was the age of my own mom and had unusual spiritual maturity and discernment. So, I wasn’t surprised when she spoke very directly to me one day about my friend’s behavior. She had noticed and picked up on it instantly. I remember sitting at Ruth’s kitchen table with her eyes staring into mine, saying “Susie, you have to help your husband. You are his “safeguard” – your very presence can diffuse situations like this. Your relationship with him is God’s provision of protecting him from temptation. Don’t be foolish and ignore this, you need to bring it to his attention, talk with him about it and decide how you will handle it.”
I thought about Ruth’s comments all day and have replayed that conversation in my mind hundreds of times since then. How wise and discerning she was and I am forever grateful for her directness and exhortation to a young and sometimes naïve pastor’s wife.
The word “safeguard” is defined as something that serves as a protection, defense or that ensures safety (www.dictionary.com). Ruth was right on target, as usual. Husbands and wives are each other’s “safeguards” against the temptations of the enemy. Make no mistake about it – Satan is the prowling lion seeking to destroy testimonies and lives, especially of those in ministry.
Paul supports this concept in 1 Cor. 7: 1-6. Our bodies exclusively belong to one another, and our physical relationship is designed to bring us fulfillment within the boundaries of marriage. Guarding that is our charge, so that Satan will not have an opportunity to tempt us (vs. 7). I took Ruth’s warning as a wakeup call to be more intentional in being my husbands “safeguard”.
That evening my husband came home from the office, with a large box of homemade cookies, delivered by my friend to the church office that morning. (He had mentioned in his sermon on Sunday how much he loved chocolate chip cookies). Well, something happened to me when I saw that box. I was suddenly livid! I ripped the top off and said, “You want cookies? I’ll give you cookies!!” I proceeded to smash every cookie in that box with my fist until the entire box was tiny crumbs. My husband was staring at me and when I finally stopped, we burst into hysterical laughter. I’m not sure if what I saw in his eyes was relief or fear! But it quickly led to a very honest talk about this situation and how we would handle these things in the future. I was ready to send her a note saying, “Hey, my kids and I loved the cookies! Oh and by the way, YOU AIN’T WOMAN ENOUGH TO TAKE MY MAN!” But I calmed down – and learned an invaluable lesson that day. I must be intentional in guarding and investing in my marriage. I am my husband’s safeguard against the schemes of the enemy, he is mine, and we will do everything within our power and God’s to protect our relationship and our testimony.
I did learn one other thing – maybe I need to bake chocolate cookies a little more often?
Flourish is a ministry of the North American Mission Board of the Southern Baptist Convention.
I have been reading through David Jeremiah’s book “Searching for Heaven on Earth.” It is a thirty-one day study through the Old Testament book of Ecclesiastes. This is my second time to read the book; nevertheless, every day I find new truths for life that makes living here on earth that much more enjoyable.
I pray that this passage from chapter eight will cause you to think deeply about where you will spend eternity. People often say they are afraid of death, but what they should really be afraid of is their being judged by Almighty God. Are you ready to meet the Judge?
In recent years, doctors and social scientists have been studying deathbed scenes and interviewing people who have had near-death experiences. Dr. Maurice Rawlings, a Chattanooga cardiologist, has written about his research. He observes that death survivors tell us that the moment of death is absolutely painless, regardless of every instinct we have about it. “Feels like fainting,” survivors say, or “like a missed heartbeat” or “a lost breath.” Many have a sense of their souls leaving their bodies on a tranquil voyage down what seems to be a tunnel. But not all the stories have happy endings. Dr. Rawlings was an agnostic and a cynic when something happened to him that changed his life. One day he was examining the heart of a forty-eight-year-old mail carrier named Charles McKaig, from LaFayette, Georgia. McKaig was on the treadmill when his heart monitor became erratic, then flatlined. Surprisingly, Charlie continued to talk for a moment, unaware that his heart had stopped. Four or five seconds later, he looked suddenly dumbfounded. Then his eyes rolled up in his head and he fell, the treadmill sweeping his body away like so much trash, as Dr. Rawlings later put it. Rawlings immediately began applying CPR. As Charlie’s heart began beating, he screamed, “Don’t stop! I’m in hell! I’m in hell!” Rawlings thought the man was having hallucinations. But Charlie continued, “For God’s sake, don’t stop! Don’t you understand? Every time you let go, I’m back in hell.” Charlie begged Rawlings to pray for him, but Rawlings told him to shut up. “I’m a doctor,” he said, “not a minister.” The nurses gave Dr. Rawlings such terrible looks that even while applying CPR he said, “All right. Say it! Jesus Christ is the Son of God. Go on and say it.” Charlie said those words, and a strange thing happened. He was no longer a wide-eyed, screaming, combative lunatic. He was relaxed and calm and cooperative. He survived the experience, a changed man from that moment on. He went on to live a committed Christian life. The experience shook Rawlings deeply. He began a long-term study into near-death experiences, and out of his research Rawlings himself became a Christian. What he discovered in his research is that near-death experiences are often horrifyingly negative and terror filled when the person has no relationship with God. Dr. Rawlings summed up his findings, saying, “Most people are deathly afraid of dying. They say, ‘Doctor, I’m afraid of dying.’ But I have never heard one of them say, ‘Doctor, I’m afraid of judgment.’ And judgment is the main concern of patients who have been there and returned to tell about it.” We need to be careful about building our theology on the ambiguity of near-death incidents. Even so, it is interesting that such information often harmonizes with what the Bible tells us. “And as it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment,” says Hebrews 9:27. And one chapter later we read this sobering verse: “It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God” (Hebrews 10:31).
I am thankful for the soldiers who serve to defend freedom’s cause all around the world. I am thankful for your willingness to leave home, family, and safety behind to put your life on the line for others. I am also thankful for the sacrifice that is made by your families. They endure months and sometimes years of separation from you during tours of duty, they often have to move from town-to-town, plus the added stress of worrying about your safety while you are in harm’s way.
Throughout the years I have seen families recognized in special ways; however, this tribute by a soldier to his wife and kids is one of the most special moments I have been blessed to witness. A special thanks to the University of South Carolina and the 85,000 fans in attendance for recognizing the Faile family!
I had a friend send this to me and thought it might help you through the last two days of the work week.