Tag Archives: Love

Programs Won’t Change a Life

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This is a great article by Michael Warden on “Why Programs Don’t Produce Lasting Change.”

Warden writes:

“If I…do not have love, I gain nothing.” ~ 1 Corinthians 13:3

The leadership culture of the Church in the West is enamored with programs. We love to package the things we’ve learned ~ be they strategies, techniques, processes, or curricula ~ and scale them to multiply our impact and to help more people.

The motive is noble. And if we were merely in the knowledge-sharing business, then creating a program or curriculum to increase our impact would make perfect sense.

But we’re not in the knowledge business. At least, not primarily.

We’re in the transformation business.
We’re in the business of changing lives.

In this business of transforming lives, things like strategies, techniques, processes, curricula ~ they all have their place. For anyone experiencing authentic life transformation, there are definitely skills that need to be learned, new ways of being and doing that better serve the new person they have now become.

But programs don’t change people. They don’t produce that transformation. They can’t. They can’t because they lack the one and only thing in the universe that can authentically transform a person into who they were meant to be.

Love.

Yes. Love.

See, here is the secret to inspiring deep, authentic, personal transformation in another human soul:

It does not come through giving them knowledge or skill sets or even training them in disciplined practices (though these things are all very good). It comes through love and the courage born of love.

Love is the transforming agent of the universe. Love is the “Deeper Magic” that C.S. Lewis pointed to in The Chronicles of Narnia, the magic that changes not merely behavior, but the core identity of a man or woman (Romans 5: 6-10; 2 Corinthians 5:17-19). With enough love brought to bear, anything is possible.

But without love unleashed, without love applied, nothing really changes. Not really. Not in the deep places where our most honest thoughts lie.

The work of transformation, of changing lives, is life-on-life. Heart on heart. It always has been. There’s no getting around it. It’s slower than we’d like it to be. AND it’s the way God designed His Kingdom to advance.

So it all works out like this: A brilliant curriculum or a masterful strategy placed in the hands of a leader who does not know how to love will produce little change and may even do harm. But in the hands of a soul who is willing to love and loves well, even the [worst] curriculum can’t prevent true life change from spreading through them.

Many leaders I know (including me) have spent so much time developing programs and discussing strategies and so little time investing in hearts so they become great lovers of others…life, on life, on life.

I Choose Pain

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Recently, as I was filing some old emails, I came across a few that brought back sad memories. They were emails from people who have moved on and are no longer a part of my daily life. Some moved far away, others changed churches, and some had graduated to glory. As I read the emails it was as if I had been transported back in time. All the pain and sorrow that I had felt months or even years ago came rushing back. I have to admit the intensity wasn’t the same; however, the sadness and disappointment of these dear friends no longer in my life was a source of pain. I am thankful to the Lord for helping me through these various losses and very grateful for His strength to endure even the most trying of circumstances.

Bearing the weight of pain, disappointment, betrayal, or the loss of loved ones takes a toll on the heart. As a pastor, I am amazed how much agony the human heart can endure. I have seen families torn apart by divorce, parents broken and grieved at the death of a child, others shocked that they have been betrayed or deceived by a close friend, and I have seen the disbelief on the face of those being told they have some debilitating disease and only given a short time to live. I have sat with those who are filled with what seems to be deteriorating agony which will eventually lead to their death. It is underneath this crushing pressure of pain that many have said, “I wish I could just stop hurting. I don’t want to feel anything. I just want the pain to go away.”

I can still vividly remember times when I wanted the pain to go away. There were times I wanted to seclude myself from the rest of the world so that I would never hurt again. I didn’t want to love for fear of rejection. I didn’t want to trust for fear of being disappointed. I didn’t want to confide in anyone for fear of being mocked. I just wanted to be protected from any and all pain. Have you ever been there?

It is quite simple to live a life of seclusion; however, what you lose is far too precious. C.S. Lewis put it this way:

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.“

I don’t want to be a someone whose heart is as hard as stone. I don’t want to live a life protecting my heart if it means being cold to everyone around me. The pain from rejection, betrayal, and death can be debilitating; however, the reason we hurt so much is because of love. When someone we love departs, for whatever reason, there is great pain, sadness, and loneliness. However, our hearts are only moved by these emotions because we have exchanged so much love with the person who is gone.

I have met with those whose spouse had just passed away. They cried and talked about how lonely life would be without their “better half.” But after a while, something would happen—with tears in their eyes they would smile and start telling stories. They would tell me about their wedding day, the birth of their first child, living over-seas, buying their first home, or about their favorite vacations. By the time they finished we all were laughing and thanking God for the time we had together. These joyous meetings would never have happened if they had closed themselves off from the danger of pain. That kind of joy in the midst of great pain only happens when we have invested ourselves in loving others. You know, loving them like Jesus loved the world and gave Himself up as a sacrifice that we might spend eternity with Him.

So, I guess I am determined to live a life of pain. Pain that comes from loving others with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. Pain that comes from building loving relationships that distance, differences, or even death cannot steal the joy of friendship.

 

The Apostle John

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by: Pastor Mark Driscoll on Apr 24, 2012

The Apostle John is a towering figure in the Bible.

As one of Jesus’ closest friends, the Bible describes John as “the disciple whom Jesus loved” (John 13:23; 20:2; 21:7; 21:20). He is one of the twelve disciples of Jesus, among the three who witnessed Jesus’ transfiguration (Mark 9:2–13, Matt. 17:1–13), and the author of the Gospel of John, and 1, 2, and 3 John, and the book of Revelation, whose first three chapters we’re studying in our sermon series the Seven.

Prior to preaching through the Gospel of John nearly 12 years ago, I took time to introduce the church to the man John. Taking the time then and now to reflect upon his life and ministry has influenced me greatly.

After spending so much time studying the life of John, in which he tirelessly served and led the early church, was boiled alive in oil (and survived!), and finally banished to the island of Patmos, where he wrote Revelation, the following are four lessons I’ve come away with from observing his life.

1. Humility: The True Path Greatness

As a young man, John was a zealous individual. He wanted power and longed for authority. Along with his brother James, Jesus nicknamed him Boanerges, which means “sons of thunder” (Mark 3:17). What this name suggests about John’s personality is that he was “loud” and even “hot-tempered.” You don’t have to look far and wide throughout the Bible for examples either.

From ticking off the other disciples by asking Jesus for a privileged seat in his kingdom (Mark 10:35–37, 41), asking to pray for fire to descend from heaven to destroy a town (Luke 9:51–55), to even attempting to stop someone casting out demons in the name of Jesus because that person wasn’t a part of their group (Luke 9:49–50), it’s clear that John wasn’t a meek and mild young man.

Amazingly enough, Jesus didn’t squash John’s zeal. Instead, he lovingly redirected it through teaching and modeling humble service (Mark 19:42-45). As I’ve said before, there’s nothing wrong with pursuing greatness, but the reason why you crave it or the way in which you go about attaining it can be sinful.

As John matured in Christ, he became a loving and humble leader, who wrote toward the end of his life, “By this we know love, that [Jesus] laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. . . . Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth” (1 John 3:16–18).

2. Build Your Identity on Jesus’ Love for You

John loved Jesus, and Jesus loved John. Jesus’ love for John was the foundation for John’s identity.

Even though John could have easily built his identity upon his ability to write, preach, or even the fact that he was considered a “pillar” of the church (Gal. 2:9), it was Jesus’ love for him that served as the foundation for who he was. John says as much in 1 John, writing:

Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world.

Do you find that your identity—your value and worth as a human being—is based upon how well you do at work, how good your grades are, or how well you perform in athletics? Does the size of your bank account, the newness of your car, or possessing the latest gadgets give you a sense of self-worth?  To build your life on anything other than Jesus and his love for you is like building a house on sand.

The things of this world are fading sources of hope and satisfaction. Like John, trust in and love Jesus. He will never leave you or forsake you (Heb. 13:5).

3. Love God and Others

When you read through John’s writings, you’ll easily see that he had a tremendous pastor’s heart. He writes often about God’s love, encouraging others to love one another and to love God. He writes so much about love that many even call him the “apostle of love.”

Even when writing to a church that was struggling against false teaching, John tempered his love for the truth with his love of Jesus and others. He addressed the recipients of his second letter as those he loves “in truth” (2 John 1:1), and even commends them to love each other by walking “according to his commandments” (2 John 1:5–6). Notice that John didn’t come out swinging with a verbal barrage, but rather a loving and affirmative tone.

When discussing right doctrine with people, we can learn much from John. He was the type of person who was more interested in making a difference in the lives of others than in making a point and winning an argument.  What type of person are you? Are you the type of person that simply wants to make a point or a difference? Or are you a person who wants to make a difference in others’ lives because you love them and want them to love Jesus?

In your zeal for truth, be sure that you don’t win an argument at the sake of losing the person. Our zeal for truth should be softened by our love for God and people.

4. Eagerly Follow Jesus

John eagerly followed Jesus, with his life at Jesus’ call.

From leaving his family and financial livelihood behind (Mark 1:19–20), to taking in Jesus’ mother Mary (John 19:25–27), to suffering greatly for the sake of the gospel, John was willing to follow Jesus and trust Jesus with his life. 

I encourage you to also follow Jesus with your life. Don’t leave anything on the table. Give your all to following his call and commands upon your life. In doing so, the level of joy you experience in life will be great and complete—and nothing else will be able to compare (John 15:11).

Real Bad

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In a recent post, Timothy Keller discussed Jesus’ attitude toward all the difficulties, pain, and suffering we face.

Keller writes:

The story of Jesus standing before the tomb of Lazarus is an endless source of insight for me. As he was about to raise Lazarus from the dead, Jesus was not smiling. He was angry. He was weeping. Why? Because death is a bad thing! Jesus wasn’t thinking, ‘They think that this is a tragedy, but no harm done! I’m about to raise him from the dead. This looks like a bad thing, but it’s not. It’s really a good thing! It’s a way for me to show my glory. It’s really exciting! I can’t wait!’ He wasn’t thinking that. Jesus was weeping at the tomb, because the bad thing he’s about to work for good is bad. The story of Lazarus does not give you a saccharine view of suffering, saying bad things are really blessings in disguise or that every cloud has a silver lining. The Bible never says anything like that! God will give bad things good effects in your life, but they’re still bad. Jesus Christ’s anger at the tomb of Lazarus proves that he hates death. He also hates loneliness, alienation, pain, and suffering. Jesus hates it all so much that he was willing to come into this world and experience it all himself, so that eventually he could destroy it without destroying us.

There’s no saccharine view in the Christian faith. The promise is not that if you love God, good things will happen in your life. The promise is not that if you love God, the bad things really aren’t bad; they’re really good things. The promise is that God will take the bad things, and he’ll work them for good in the totality.”

Many people have questioned God’s love for them after they have placed their faith in Christ. They don’t understand why they still suffer even though they are a Christian. Like the seed sown in the shallow soil they wither under the heat of discomfort and eventually turn away from God completely.

Jesus never promised us a life without trouble, in fact He actually told us in this life we would have troubles (John 16.33). Jesus didn’t come to give us our hearts desire. He came to deliver us from God’s wrath. He came to give us life eternal in heaven. He came because of His great love for us.

Tomorrow we will continue our study of Jesus’ “I Am” statements in the book of John. As we look at the broader story around Jesus’ declaration, “I am the resurrection and the life” (John 11.25) we will discover some of the similarities of Lazarus being raised from the dead physically and our being raised spiritually.

I hope to see you Resurrection Sunday at 10:45 a.m. as we celebrate Jesus’ victory over sin, death, hell, and the grave.

Here is a link for directions to Living Oaks Baptist Church.