Tag Archives: Love

Overcoming Fear: The Empowering Benefits of Knowing God’s Love

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We’ve all heard people say, “If God is love, then why do bad things happen?” They seem to have difficulty reconciling life difficulties with a loving God. They are saying, “How does it benefit me if God is love and I still have to suffer?” In other words, “God is love, SO WHAT?”

There are numerous empowering benefits to truly KNOWING a loving God. The key word here is “knowing.” It’s only when we truly know God that we can recognize and experience His love towards us. This knowledge of His love is what empowers us, giving us the strength to face our fears and overcome them.

1 John 4:18 says, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear.” Perfect love can only come from God; therefore, when you know God, fear is removed. This doesn’t mean we aren’t concerned or that we don’t wrestle with insecurity or anxiety. It means that because of our experiences with God in various circumstances, we KNOW that we can trust Him. This trust is what keeps our eyes focused solely on Him, not on what is frightening us. It helps us keep everything in perspective: God is greater and more powerful than whatever is causing our fears.

As Christians, we are not meant to live our lives in fear. “For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline” (2 Tim 1:17). This power, this love, this confidence is what empowers us to live a fearless life. How do we tap into this power? How do we stay focused on the all-mighty God rather than the “what ifs” of life?

The answer is recognizing our fears and knowing the truths about God and how He is greater than our worries. With that in mind, let’s look at some of our concerns in light of God’s greatness.

The Fear of Failure

Let’s talk about the fear of failure. I’ve met too many believers who were so exhausted from their constant struggle with sin that they just gave up and settled for a defeated life. Can you imagine living in such a state? It’s not what God wants for us. He wants to give us freedom from and power over sin. He doesn’t want us to feel weak and helpless. So, simply giving up and giving in isn’t the answer.

I read of a baseball player who set the major league record for strikeouts with 1,316. This same player set a record for five consecutive strikeouts in a World Series game. The holder of both records was the great slugger Babe Ruth. His lifetime batting average was .342, which means his average of not reaching base was .658. He failed almost two-thirds of the time, yet he is known for what? Hitting home runs. He never gave up and is still talked about even though he retired almost 90 years ago.

When Satan attacks with the fear of failure, when he brings up all our sins, when he accuses us of our fleshly weaknesses, we need to run to God and let Him remind us of what He considers to be true about us. That is, God “has reconciled you to himself through the death of Christ in his physical body. As a result, he has brought you into his own presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault” (Colossians 1:22).

All our failures (yesterday, today, and tomorrow) were placed upon Christ when we put our faith in Him. Now, we live in an eternal state of forgiveness. No one, including ourselves, put the mantle of “sinner” back on us. We have been forgiven once and for all time; therefore, if a holy, sinless God can forgive us our failures, then who are we to not forgive ourselves?

The Fear of People

Next is the fear of people. Fredrick the Great said, “The more I get to know people, the more I love my dog.” People can be scary. They try to dominate, manipulate, and intimidate us, using these tactics to control us with fear.

Proverbs 29:25 warns us that “the fear of man is a snare” that will trap you and steal your hope for freedom. They will use their wicked maneuvers to guilt, scare, or browbeat you into submission. Usually, they do this because they are afraid of not being in control.

We cannot allow people to bully us to get their way. We cannot allow fear to keep us from being who God wants us to be. Paul asked the Galatian church, “Am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ” (1:10). Paul never let his fear of what people could do prevent him from obeying God.

In Acts 5:17-33, the disciples are imprisoned because they were preaching about Jesus in the temple. God freed them from jail but instructed them to return to preaching in the temple. The following day, the temple guard discovered they had escaped the prison but were back preaching.

Upon their arrest, they were brought before the High Priest. The religious leaders wanted to kill them but ended up flogging and then releasing them. The disciples were not afraid of what happened to them physically. They knew the very instant they left this life, they would be ushered into Christ’s presence (2 Cor 5:8).

Jesus encourages us not to “be afraid of those who want to kill your body; they cannot touch your soul. Fear only God, who can destroy both soul and body in hell” (Mt 10:28). People can harm your body, ego, and reputation; however, nothing they do can separate you from God’s love, plan, and salvation.

That doesn’t mean we go out with a chip on our shoulder. It does mean we confidently live life knowing what God KNOWS to be true of us!

The Fear of Troubles

Thirdly, there is the fear of trouble. Romans 5.1-5 says, “Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory.”

“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.”

Clearly, all troubles are not bad. Hebrews 12:7 tells us to “endure hardships as discipline.” Notice it doesn’t say hardships are discipline, but to “endure” or consider hardships as discipline. My son has a list of chores. They are not a form of punishment but are to teach him responsibility, character, and hard work.

God wants us to trust His plan when troubles arise. God promises in Zephaniah 3:17, “The LORD you God is in your midst, a victorious warrior. He will exult over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.” Jews took this verse to mean those without troubles were outside God’s will. The writer of Hebrews declared that God disciplines those He loves, so if you are not disciplined, then you are not legitimate children of God (12:5-11).

We may not like the discipline, but we must trust what we know about God—He is loving, kind, merciful, patient, perfect, and His plan for us will not be denied.

Focusing on our difficulties and trials can cause us to question God and eventually grow angry with Him for not helping us the way we want. There is nothing wrong with honestly talking with God about your plight. But in the end, we must be willing to submit to His sovereignty. Remember, God’s will and plan are what we would want if we knew all that God knows!

The Fear of Separation

Finally, there is the fear of separation. This is the accumulation of all our fears coming down on us at once. Fear that isn’t dealt with is like a giant boulder rolling downhill and about to crush us. It will eventually catch up to us, and the results will be devastating.

Undealt with fear obscures our vision of God. Why? Because we become myopic about our fears even though they are much smaller than our God! It’s like the moon blocking the sun’s light during an eclipse. The sun is 400 times larger than the moon, but when positioned just right, the moon appears larger and more dominant.

Our fixation on what frightens us makes it appear large and in charge. This means we must exercise spiritual maturity to remember, believe, and rest in the fact that God is in control regardless of our finite view.

There are several ways to overcome fear. First, call out to God. He already knows, but tell Him what’s happening and how you feel. Don’t try to hide your feelings from Him. He knows everything, so just be honest with Him. There is something about being vulnerable, transparent, and sincere that helps us move from fear to faith.

Next, quiet your spirit and thank God for being there with you. Spend time praising Him for His past help and how it will help you get through your current crisis. Then worship Him for who He is: holy, righteous, gracious, merciful, loving, forgiving, all-powerful, all-knowing, ever-present, omnibenevolent, and so much more. The Bible declares that God inhabits His praise, so when we praise and worship Him, HE SHOWS UP!

Another thing you can do is read Romans 8:31-39. “What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us.”

“Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? (As the Scriptures say, ‘For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.’) No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.”

“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

What can separate us from God? NOTHING!

Lastly, remembering the cross is the best way to calm our fears. There is no more extraordinary proof of God’s love for us than the giving of His Son as an atonement for our sins. It is impossible to see Jesus rejected by His own Father because of our sinfulness and not feel God’s overwhelming love for us. If you find yourself doubting God’s love for any reason, go to the Gospels and read the passion narratives. Look upon Christ’s wounds and remember they were necessary for your forgiveness and future home in Heaven.

The fear of separation is real, but if we take the proper steps, we can confidently face our fears because we know, have experienced, and are assured of God’s love, presence, and plan.

More Than I Ever Imagined

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Prayer (2)I was blessed to grow up in a home with two parents who’s love for each other was a beautiful picture of Biblical love. Because of their love, I couldn’t wait to have a family of my own, so in 1980 at the age of sixteen I started praying for my wife. At first, my prayers were as shallow as most boys my age, you know, I wanted her to be pretty, have blonde hair, blue eyes, and be head over heals in love with me. As the years began to add up and I was still single, my prayers began to change. Oh, I still prayed for everything as before but I added that she needed to love Jesus, have a wonderful testimony, want to be on mission for the Lord, and once again be crazy about me.

I would love to say I patiently waited for the woman who perfectly matched up to my prayers, unfortunately my fear of being alone was greater than my trust in God’s timing, so I was in and out of a lot of relationships. In spite of my impatience, God was faithful and continued to prepare the perfect wife for me. I had to wait thirteen years to finally meet her, but it was well worth the previous heart-break, loneliness, sadness, and seemingly unanswered prayers.

Because we were both college students and poorer than a church mouse, img_0018our first date was at Subway where I could only afford a soft-drink and a couple of chocolate chip cookies. We spent several hours talking about our life’s journey and how we come to know Christ. As she shared about her life before and after meeting Jesus I was stunned at how she was listing off all that I had prayed for over the last thirteen years. She had already been on two mission trips, one to Jackson Hole, Wyoming and the other to Trinidad and Tobago. It was quite clear that night just how in love she was with Jesus.  It was so clear I convinced her to marry me six months later.

Over the last twenty-seven years of marriage, she has taught me so much about God’s love.  Shirley loves me unconditionally in spite of all my idiosyncrasies (a nice way of saying I am weird). I don’t have to perform, serve, or love her in any special way to earn or keep her love. She just loves me unconditionally. And yet, without a doubt I am the second man in her life, the first being Jesus, which is exactly what I was praying for all the way back in 1980. You see, it is her love relationship with Jesus that taught her how to love me.

So, today on our twenty-seventh wedding anniversary I am especially thankful toFebruary 2015 Almighty God for the way He answered the prayer of a sixteen year old boy by giving me so much more than I ever asked for in a wife. She is truly more than I ever imagined or deserved!

I love you Shirley!

Unconditional Love

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This was written by Robertson McQuilkin six years after stepping down as president of Columbia Bible College and Seminary to care for his wife, Muriel, who suffers from Alzheimer’s.

Seventeen summers ago, Muriel and I began our journey into the twilight. It’s midnight now, at least for her, and sometimes I wonder when dawn will break. Even the dread of Alzheimer’s disease isn’t supposed to attack so early and torment so long. Yet, in her silent world, Muriel is so content, so lovable. If Jesus took her home, how I would miss her gentle, sweet presence. Yes, there are times when I get irritated, but not often. It doesn’t make much sense to get angry. And besides, perhaps the Lord has been answering the prayer of my youth to mellow my spirit.

Once, though, I completely lost it. In the days when Muriel could still stand and walk and we had not resorted to diapers, sometimes there were “accidents.” I was on my knees beside her, trying to clean up the mess as she stood, confused, by the toilet. It would have been easier if she weren’t so insistent on helping. I got more and more frustrated. Suddenly, to make her stand still, I slapped her calf–as if that would do any good. It wasn’t a hard slap, but she was startled. I was, too. Never in our forty-four years of marriage had I ever so much as touched her in anger or in rebuke of any kind. Never, wasn’t even tempted, in fact. But, now, when she needed me most…

Sobbing, I pled with her to forgive me–no matter that she didn’t understand words any better than she could speak them. So I turned to the Lord to tell Him how sorry I was. It took me days to get over it. Maybe God bottled those tears to quench the fires that might ignite again someday.

Recently, a student wife asked me, “Don’t you ever get tired?”

“Tired? Every night. That’s why I go to bed.”

“No, I mean tired of…” and she tilted her head toward Muriel, who sat silently in her wheelchair, her vacant eyes saying, “No one at home just now.” I responded to Cindi’s question, “Why no, I don’t get tired. I love to care for her. She’s my precious…”

Love is said to evaporate if the relationship is not mutual, if it’s not physical, if the other person does not communicate, or if one party doesn’t carry his or her share of the load. When I hear the litany of essentials for a happy marriage, I count off what my beloved can no longer contribute, and then I contemplate how truly mysterious love is.

What some people find so hard to understand is that loving Muriel isn’t hard. They wonder about my former loves–like my work. “Don’t you miss being president?” a student asked as we sat in our little garden. I told him I’d never thought about it, but, on reflection, no. As exhilarating as my work had been, I enjoyed learning to cook and keep house. No, I’d never looked back.

But that night I did reflect on his question and turned it to the Lord. “Father, I like this assignment, and I have no regrets. But if a coach puts a man on the bench, he must not want him in the game. You needn’t tell me, of course, but I’d like to know–why didn’t you keep me in the game?

I didn’t sleep well that night and awoke contemplating the puzzle. Muriel was still mobile at that time, so we set out on our morning walk around the block. She wasn’t too sure on her feet, so we went slowly and held hands as we always do. This day I heard footsteps behind me and looked back to see the familiar form of a local derelict behind us. He staggered past us, then turned and looked us up and down. “Tha’s good. I likes ’it,” he said. Tha’s real good. I likes it.” He turned and headed back down the street, mumbling to himself over and over, “Tha’s good. I likes it.”

When Muriel and I reached our little garden and sat down, his words came back to me. Then the realization hit me; the Lord had spoken through an inebriated old derelict. “It is you who is whispering to my spirit, ‘I likes it, tha’s good.’” I said aloud. “I may be on the bench, but if you like it and say it’s good, that’s all that counts…”

I think my life is happier than the lives of 95 percent of the people on planet Earth.

The 1% is really 100%

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This morning another friend died of COVID. I can no longer count the number of former or current church members that have died from this terrible virus. My heart aches for their families, friends, co-workers, and neighbors who have to learn how to live each day without their loved one in this world. Those who were a Christian have left behind peace, comfort, and hope of a great reunion one day in heaven. Nevertheless, our hearts still long to have them present with us.

Could I ask a favor from some of you? I see a lot of posts that COVID isn’t that bad because less than 1% of the population has died from this virus. That it is just a political grenade used to bring about fear and sway people one way or another. I will not argue whether these posts are fact or fiction, but what I would say is this: Those who have lost someone to COVID are not thinking about the 1%. They are hurting because 100% of the person they loved has died.

So, here is my favor. Please think before you post supposed facts or opinions. As a believer in Christ, think about those whose lives have been hurt and post from a position of compassion, love, empathy, and concern. Write something that shows your Christ-likeness: something that is not divisive, mean-spirited, or slanderous. Post something that is not fueled by anger, rage, bitterness, or meanness. Post something that is going to let those who have lost someone know, “I love you, I care for you, I hurt with you, and I’m praying for you.”

If you disagree with this, you can ignore it and move. But if you’re tired of all the hate, anger, anxiety, fear, and frustration on social media, then share this with others.
Thanks for taking time to get this far. May God bless and keep you and your family safe from the ravages of living in a fallen world!

Whom Shall I Fear? GOD!

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Sunday I asked the question, “Whom Shall I Fear?” The answer is God. Jesus warned us, do “not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell” (Mt 10.28 NKJV).

Many try to limit the “fear of the Lord” as just having a reverent sense of awe toward God. I agree we should revere the Lord, humble ourselves before Him, and tremble in His presence. However, this should not lessen our view of God as the omnipotent, omniscience, and omnipresent God of all creation. He declares what is righteous and holy. He has determined what is and is not acceptable. He commands and demands our obedience to that which He has declared holy.

When we lack a sense of fear toward God, we will find ways around His laws, commands, and ordinances. We will convince people truth is relative. We will give them the freedom to do what feels right and follow their own convictions, just so long as what they are doing makes them happy. By following this advice, we make ourselves god. We are wise, can decide right and wrong, and we can declare whatever we want to be right, just, and holy.

In twenty-first century America, we are way too sophisticated to worship wooden, clay, or stone idols. However, when we put ourselves in the place of God, we have enthroned a ruler who only pursues lust, envy, jealousy, and selfishness. We only seek that which fulfills our every desire. There is no longer room in our lives for a God whose commands leave us feeling guilty and inadequate.

Therefore, with broken and contrite hearts, we must avoid fashioning God into our image. We must remember we are sinners before a holy God. The following quote from a Charles Spurgeon sermon in December 1874 puts it this way:

Man fashions for himself a god after his own liking; he makes to himself if not out of wood or stone, yet out of what he calls his own consciousness, or his cultured thought, a deity to his taste, who will not be too severe with his iniquities or deal out strict justice to the impenitent. He rejects God as he is, and elaborates other gods such as he thinks the Divine One ought to be, and he says concerning these works of his own imagination, “These be thy gods, O Israel.” The Holy Spirit, however, when he illuminates their minds, leads us to see that Jehovah is God, and beside him there is none else. He teaches his people to know that the God of heaven and earth is the God of the Bible, a God whose attributes are completely balanced, mercy attended by justice, love accompanied by holiness, grace arrayed in truth, and power linked with tenderness. He is not a God who winks at sin, much less is pleased with it, as the gods of the heathen are supposed to be, but a God who cannot look upon iniquity, and will by no means spare the guilty.

This is the great quarrel of the present day between the philosopher and the Christian. The philosopher says, “Yes, a god if you will, but he must be of such a character as I now dogmatically set before you”; but the Christian replies, “Our business is not to invent a god, but to obey the one Lord who is revealed in the Scriptures of truth.” The God of Holy Scripture is love, but he is also possessed of justice and severity; he is merciful and gracious, but he is also stern and terrible towards evil; therefore unregenerate hearts say, “We cannot accept such a God as this,” and they call him cruel, and I know not what besides.

Sermon of Charles Haddon Spurgeon, “Heart-Knowledge of God,” December 6, 1874.

It is not for us to define God in a way that is more palatable. God has declared who He is, who we are, and how we are to live. Let God’s Word lead you, and you will find the life of which you have always dreamed!