Category Archives: Devotion

I Choose Pain

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Recently, as I was filing some old emails, I came across a few that brought back sad memories. They were emails from people who have moved on and are no longer a part of my daily life. Some moved far away, others changed churches, and some had graduated to glory. As I read the emails it was as if I had been transported back in time. All the pain and sorrow that I had felt months or even years ago came rushing back. I have to admit the intensity wasn’t the same; however, the sadness and disappointment of these dear friends no longer in my life was a source of pain. I am thankful to the Lord for helping me through these various losses and very grateful for His strength to endure even the most trying of circumstances.

Bearing the weight of pain, disappointment, betrayal, or the loss of loved ones takes a toll on the heart. As a pastor, I am amazed how much agony the human heart can endure. I have seen families torn apart by divorce, parents broken and grieved at the death of a child, others shocked that they have been betrayed or deceived by a close friend, and I have seen the disbelief on the face of those being told they have some debilitating disease and only given a short time to live. I have sat with those who are filled with what seems to be deteriorating agony which will eventually lead to their death. It is underneath this crushing pressure of pain that many have said, “I wish I could just stop hurting. I don’t want to feel anything. I just want the pain to go away.”

I can still vividly remember times when I wanted the pain to go away. There were times I wanted to seclude myself from the rest of the world so that I would never hurt again. I didn’t want to love for fear of rejection. I didn’t want to trust for fear of being disappointed. I didn’t want to confide in anyone for fear of being mocked. I just wanted to be protected from any and all pain. Have you ever been there?

It is quite simple to live a life of seclusion; however, what you lose is far too precious. C.S. Lewis put it this way:

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.“

I don’t want to be a someone whose heart is as hard as stone. I don’t want to live a life protecting my heart if it means being cold to everyone around me. The pain from rejection, betrayal, and death can be debilitating; however, the reason we hurt so much is because of love. When someone we love departs, for whatever reason, there is great pain, sadness, and loneliness. However, our hearts are only moved by these emotions because we have exchanged so much love with the person who is gone.

I have met with those whose spouse had just passed away. They cried and talked about how lonely life would be without their “better half.” But after a while, something would happen—with tears in their eyes they would smile and start telling stories. They would tell me about their wedding day, the birth of their first child, living over-seas, buying their first home, or about their favorite vacations. By the time they finished we all were laughing and thanking God for the time we had together. These joyous meetings would never have happened if they had closed themselves off from the danger of pain. That kind of joy in the midst of great pain only happens when we have invested ourselves in loving others. You know, loving them like Jesus loved the world and gave Himself up as a sacrifice that we might spend eternity with Him.

So, I guess I am determined to live a life of pain. Pain that comes from loving others with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. Pain that comes from building loving relationships that distance, differences, or even death cannot steal the joy of friendship.

 

Lessons From Kindergarten

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It has been quite a while since I last read Robert Fulghum’s book “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.” So, today I decided to take it out, read the first chapter, and remind myself just how simple life can be.

In the first story of the book Mr. Fulghum talks about his life’s Credo:

All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand pile at school.

These are the things I learned:

  • Share everything.
  • Play fair.
  • Don’t hit people.
  • Put things back where you found them.
  • Clean up your own mess.
  • Don’t take things that aren’t yours.
  • Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody.
  • Wash your hands before you eat.
  • Flush.
  • Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
  • Live a balanced life – learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
  • Take a nap every afternoon.
  • When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together.
  • Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
  • Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup – they all die. So do we.
  • And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned – the biggest word of all – LOOK.

Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and equality and sane living.

Take any one of those items and extrapolate it into sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your family life or your work or government or your world and it holds true and clear and firm. Think what a better world it would be if we all – the whole world – had cookies and milk at about 3 o’clock in the afternoon and then lay down with our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments had as a basic policy to always put things back where they found them and to clean up their own mess.

And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out in the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.

Source: “ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW I LEARNED IN KINDERGARTEN” by Robert Fulghum.

The Good Samaritan

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And a lawyer stood up and put Him to the test, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” And He said to him, “What is written in the Law? How does it read to you?” And he answered, “ You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself.” And He said to him, “You have answered correctly;  do this and you will live.” But wishing  to justify himself, he said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

Jesus replied and said, “A man was  going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among robbers, and they stripped him and beat him, and went away leaving him half dead. And by chance a priest was going down on that road, and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.Likewise a Levite also, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side.But a  Samaritan, who was on a journey, came upon him; and when he saw him, he felt compassion,and came to him and bandaged up his wounds, pouring oil and wine on them; and he put him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn and took care of him.On the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper and said, ‘Take care of him; and whatever more you spend, when I return I will repay you.’Which of these three do you think proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell into the robbers’ hands?”And he said, “The one who showed mercy toward him.” Then Jesus said to him, “Go and do the same.”

(From Luke 10.25-37 NASB)

A Father’s Prayer

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Dear Heavenly Father, can you forgive me for hurting my children?

I came from a poor background so I thought that a big house would make my children feel important. I didn’t realize that all it takes is my love.

I thought money would bring them happiness, but all it did was make them think that things were more important than people.

I thought spanking them would make them tough so that they could defend themselves. All it did was stop me from seeking wisdom so that I could discipline and teach them.

I thought that leaving them alone would make them independent. All it did was force my one son to be the father to my second son.

I thought that by smoothing over all of the family problems I was keeping peace. All I was teaching them was to run rather than lead.

I thought that by pretending to be the perfect family in public that I was bringing them respectability. All I was teaching them was to live a lie and keep the secret.

I thought that all I had to do to be a father was make money, stay at home and supply all their material needs. All I taught them was that there is more to being a dad. The problem is they will have to guess what being a dad really is.

And Dear God,

I hope you can read this prayer. My tears have smudged a lot of words.

From “Stories for the Heart” by Alice Gray (Multnomah, 169).

Finish the Race

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This morning I was reading Maggie Hendricks article on Lopez Lomong. Lomong is a 1,500 meter champion runner, but is trying to qualify for the 5,000 meters in the summer Olympics.

Hendricks writes:

Lopez Lomong is the U.S. champion at 1500m, but is trying out the 5000m. Since he’s still getting used to the event, he had an embarrassing moment in the race at Payton Jordan Cardinal Invitational.

With two laps to go, Lomong accelerated and broke away from the pack of runners. He easily outpaced them, and with one lap to go, slowed down to celebrate. The crowd at Stanford and track officials waved frantically for Lomong to keep going. He took off, and still easily won the race with a time of 13:11.63, plus earned the Olympic A standard qualifying time.

He was surprised by the mishap.

“When somebody said you got one more lap to go, I was like, huh?” Lomong told Race Results Weekly.

It happens, Lopez. Much better that this happens before the Olympics, right?

I think Lopez would have been humiliated if after gaining so great a lead he would lose the race because he literally quit running thinking he had finished the race.

As Christians we are called to run the race:

  • We run to win the prize (1 Corinthians 9.24)
  • We run the race unhindered (Hebrews 12.1)
  • We run the race with endurance (Hebrews 12.1)
  • We run to finish the race (2 Timothy 4.7)

We cannot allow ourselves to be so distracted that we celebrate our accomplishments before the race is finished. The race doesn’t end with salvation, it isn’t celebrated halfway through, and it isn’t finished until we have breathed our last breath. We must focus on the task at hand—running the race.

We do not just stop running whenever we feel like it. We are called by Christ to follow His example and run this race to the finish. The course that we must traverse is filled with obstacles—doubt, discouragement, difficulty, distress, discomfort, dismay, dread, despair, and even death. There will be times of loneliness and longing for the race to end; nevertheless, we must keep running. We must run in such a way as to not disqualify ourselves. We must run with the sole purpose of finishing the race.

The Christian life is not glamorous, its successes are not recognized, we are mocked, belittled, put-down, and shunned; yet still we are to press on and finish the race. Our human flesh may grow weary and want to sit on the sidelines watching as others race; however, the One who has called us has also equipped us to press on and finish the race.

As Christians we can learn a lot from John Stephen Akhwari.

While competing in the marathon in Mexico City, Akhwari fell, badly cutting his knee and dislocating the joint. He continued running, finishing last among the 57 competitors who completed the race (75 had started). The winner of the marathon, Mamo Wolde of Ethiopia, finished in 2:20:26. Akhwari finished in 3:25:27,when there were only a few thousand people left in the stadium, and the sun had set.

As he finally crossed the finish line a cheer came from the small crowd. When interviewed later and asked why he continued running, he said, “My country did not send me 10,000 miles just to start the race; they sent me to finish the race” (Wikipedia).

In heaven there is a cloud of witnesses cheering us on to finish the race. Regardless of how difficult your course or how tired you may feel, please finish the race!